Realizations or That Story With The Stupid Title
by HelloOfficer07
Summary: Jackson and Oliver are idiots and don't realize that they're totally gonna make babies one day. But don't be fooled by the summary, this really doesn't have a plot. It's kind of my hypocritical response to some of the badly written stuff out there. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

PART ONE:

It's silent in the house as Jackson meanders into the kitchen. There's no one there to yell at him for not wearing a shirt and he lets out a contented groan as he scratches his stomach and takes a big gulp from the carton of orange juice.

His contented groan turned into a squeal when he noticed Oliver sitting on his couch reading a gossip magazine. Oliver turned to look at him. "Good morning." He gave him a strange glance and turned back to his magazine. "They are being _brutal_ to Jon and Kate Plus Eight."

"Miley isn't really here right now." Jackson pointed out. He tossed a soda to Oliver and grabbed one for himself.

"Yeah. I think I'm still gonna hang out here for a while." Oliver nodded, he turned the page in his magazine, "My mom's knd of angry at the cat. She's even got the," Oliver shuttered, "man voice."

Nodding, Jackson picked up a box of Lucky Charms and sat next to Oliver on the couch. He stuck his hand in the box and wiggled closer to the brunette, "That is _not_ a flattering picture of Pamela Anderson. " Oliver just nodded in agreement.

*

Oliver hummed in thought as Jackson prepard him a hot dog behind the Rico's counter. "These new foot long hotdogs are _huge_, man."

Seizing the oppertunity (and the perfect set-up,) Oliver cleared his throat, "Speaking of which, I'm gay." It was like it was scrpited. His life felt like a ridiculous TV show.

"That's cool, man." Jackson didn't even turn around, "You like relish, right?"

Oliver rolled his eyes, "For the millionth time, I hate relish. And I just came out. Reaction, please?"

Jackson just gave Oliver a sympathetic look, "Oliver, the entire state knows, man. You won't get much of a reaction out of anybody." He patted him on the shoulder and handed Oliver his hot dog. "Want anything else?"

"No." Oliver morosely bit into his hot dog and pouted.

*

Miley looked, her face was actually really damn amusing, but Miley looked disgusted. Lily was trying to hold back laughter with her hand clamped tight over her mouth. Once Jackson fell down a defiant snort escaped. Miley smacked her, "Don't encourage them!"

"Almost..." Olver goraned from across the room. His tounge was shoved so far out of his mouth that it was comical, but it was still no where near his elbow. "Jackson! I almost got it!"

"Hold on! Hold on!" Jackson picked him self up off the floor, "I got it!" He ran over to Oliver, tripping half way there, standing up again and completing the trek to his friend. He grabbed Oliver's elbow and slid his tounge across it. "That totally counts, man."

Oliver just laughed. "Epic win." They came down from their elbow-licking in comfortable silence until Miley spoke up.

"You guys are disgusting."

*

Oliver walked up to the Stewart's porch to see Miley looking absolutely livid with a science book spread on her lap. "What's up?"

"Jackson won't let me in the house." She pouted.

Oliver took a seat beside her, "Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "He's got a special someone in there, he wants _privacy_. _Please, Miles, I do everyhitng for you._" She mimicked with a mighty roll of her eyes.

"That's weird. He usually just makes out with his girlfriends in front of you." Oliver shrugged, "Is that the biology homework?" Miley just nodded. She pointed to number seven and Oliver proceeded to explain what she and Lily had talked through in class.

Half an hour later, a gorgeous (well-laid) blonde guy let himself out of the Stewart house and Miley turned to Oliver with a look of disbelief. "You don't think..." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Well, I don't make a habit out of it... Ow!" Oliver rubbed the spot on his arm where Miley swatted at him.

"Maybe they were just hanging out. Maybe Jackson's trying to get with his sister. Or mother. Or dog. I'm sure you're just jumping to conclusions." Olver explained calmly, happy with himself for his mad logic skillz.

Miley just stared at him at him. "Uh huh." She got up and burst into her house, "Jackson!"

*

Lily and Miley decided take him to the beach after a horrific date with Zack, the hot senior. It would have been nice of them, but they were being really weird and Oliver wasn't even that down.

It was disapointing, sure, but you just can't stick your hand down Oliver's pants, no matter how hot you are. Dinner has to be over, at least.

"Gee, Lily..." Miley said with an exaggerated wink. Lily sat up straight in her beach chair at rapt attention. "I've got this friend who isn't doing anything tonight and is looking for a boy to go to the movies with. Might you know anyone that I could tell him about?"

"Why yes, Miley, my good friend Oliver might be willing to accompany your friend to the movies." She looked at Oliver expectantly. "You aren't doing anything tonight, right?"

He rolled his eyes but got distracted. Over by Rico's there was a cry of, "Don't even try to use those cheap pick-up lines on me, pig! I told you, I _don't_ want to go to your disgusting party with you!" When Oliver looked over, Jackson was dripping wet from the poured contents of a pretty (angry) blonde's water bottle.

His soaking shirt was clinging tightly to his chest and his hair formed ringlets just over his eyes. He had a kicked-puppy look on his face and Oliver just couldn't avert his eyes. Espicially not when he moved to apologize to the girl and his muscles shifted under his shirt.

"Earth to Oliver!" Miley called. He looked over. "I said your date will pick you up at eight." He nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to be excited. Something was lodged deep in his abdomen stopping him.

*

The following day, everybody was gathered in Miley's kitchen for details. Oliver just wanted to eat his pancakes in peace, but even Mr. Stewart was listening, although he was trying to be as inconspicuos as possible.

"So..." Miley started, batting her eyelashes at Oliver, as if that would make him bare his soul. Earlier, he had heard her whisper to Lily, "Subtlety is key." He raised his eyebrows at her.

Jackson walked in wearing yesterday's outfit that he fell asleep in. He smelled like day-old booze and had dark circles under his eyes indictive of a hangover. "Didn't you go out with Drew last night?" He asked Oliver loudly. He picked up a pankcake off Miley's plate and sniffed it, then put it back down for fear of throwing up again.

*

"...and then, we started rapping. It was so epic, dude." Oliver smiled at Drew. They were sitting together on the beach and listening to Oliver retell some of the funniest moments of his entire life, seriously, Drew, you've got no idea.

"Okay, and this one time I walked into Miley's house and I guess they were having plumbing problems because Jackson was sitting on the counter _singing_ his own version of this Hannah Montana song and then-" Drew pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses and cut Oliver off with a sigh.

"Look, you're a really nice guy, and you're really cool and all but this won't work out."

Oliver gave him a confused look. "But why? We've been hanging out like this for, like, two months. It's been great."

"Do you know what you've talked about for these last two months?" Drew asked, already texting Hunter to come pick him up.

"Stuff." Oliver said. "I don't know. What do people in dating-type situations usually talk about?"

"Certianly not their best friend's older brothers." Drew muttered. "I like you, Oliver. But this is for the best."

*

"He really said that?" Jackson asked. They were locked in his room and ignoring the smell so Mr. Stewart didn't catch them with beer.

When Oliver had shown up downtroden and looking for Miley, the older boy had held out a Natrual Ice and told him. "There ain't no party like a Jackson parrty 'cause a Jackson party don't stop."

"I thought guys would be simpler."

"Yeah, well. Guys don't get much better once you get to college, either. Too drunk and," he raised his hands in air quote arond his bottle, "_Concerned about their future_."

Oliver raised a solitary eyebrow at the mention of guys, he had always suspected, but slumped into Jackson's side. "The world feels so... slow."

Jackson laughed and patted Oliver on the back. "You don't drink much, do ya, kid?" His hand came to rest on Oliver and stroked slow circles.

Oliver gazed up at Jackson, "Beer makes my heart speed up and my stomch flip-flop." Then he let his eyes close -just for a second- and lost conciousness to Jackson singing the enitrrty of the Cats soundtrack.

*

Even when they fight, Miley and Jackson are still brother and sister. They've got a bond stonger than friends. They grew up together and share DNA and family. It's deep, man.

When Jackson subconciously licked his lips as he watched Oliver stretch, slow and big, his shirt rideing up and exposing pale flesh and from where he was standing against the Stewart's windows he was backlight, and the California sun created a hazy halo when it caught his hair, Miley saw it.

She could feel _something_, something she can't quite put her finger on radiating off Jackson in waves. He was staring, and it was ridiculous.

She was partially sure Jackson didn't even know what he was doing.

*

**A/N: **there's spelling mistakes up the wazoo and it's terribly written and i have no clue when part two will be up (mostly 'cause i have no clue what's supposed to happen next... any ideas?)

BUT, in my little mind, oliver's first failed date was with zacky vengeance and his boyfriend-type thing was drew thompson, because i am far too lazy to make some OCs.


	2. Chapter 2

Oliver woke up panting and trying to convince himself he didn't remember the dream he had that left his boxers wet and clinging to his thighs and images of Jackson floating around in his head. He couldn't look Miley in the eyes at school that day.

*

Oliver, of course, could not avoid Miley all together and after surreptitiously ensuring that her brother would be far, far away, he joined Lily and Miley for a movie night. He sat on the floor by their feet and scoffed continually at the lack of special effects in tonight's theme: bad eighties horror movies.

"I can see the strings." He pointed to the ghost flying across the screen. "This movie is terrible."

Lily pegged him in the head with a piece of popcorn. "Shut up and enjoy the movie!"

Halfway through the second movie, (Vampires on Bikini Beach,) Jackson banged into the house, only to be shushed by his sister. He plopped down next to Oliver and stole the bowl of popcorn from his lap. While the blonde on-screen was getting killed, Oliver felt Jackson's eyes boring into the side of his head. He held his breath closed his eyes because he tingled all over and didn't trust his body enough to do anything.

*

The front door of the Oken household swung open to reveal Jackson with his head bowed and his teeth sinking into his lower lip. Oliver cleared his throat and Jackson looked up. He held his hands out, they were clutching a bright green hoodie, and he offered the explanation, "You left this at my house."

"Miley could have given it to me at school." Oliver stated after a pause, after he took a second to catch his breath. It had to be allergy season or something, because the air was thick and impossible to inhale.

"I thought you'd need it." Jackson held it out further and Oliver took it with a small smile.

"Well, thanks."

Jackson opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but promptly closed it. Olvier waited patiently, leaning against the door frame, until Jackson waved with an abrupt, "Bye!" and nearly ran to his car and sped down the street. Oliver stood by the window watching for a few minutes, then turned away, pretty sure he knew what was going on.

*

"I think," Oliver started at lunch, waving Miley and Lily in as if he were telling some kind of big secret, "that I like Jackson."

He felt better until Lily banged her head repeatedly on the table and Miley shot him a look of sheer unamusment. "You're just catching on?" She said. "You've been looking at that boy like he hung the moon and the stars for, how long?" she looked over at Lily.

"Too long." the blonde supplied.

"Ask him out." Miley demanded.

Oliver's face paled. "But what if he doesn't like me? What if he's secretly dating a suave older guy with a wealth of sexual experience and lots of cool fancy suits? What if he thinks I've got stupid hair?"

"Trust me." Miley said, with most of the annoyance wiped off her face. "Just do it."

*

The setting sun shone in his eyes as Oliver took a seat at Rico's. In less than a second, Jackson was in front of him. "How's it hangin'?" Jackson asked. Oliver nodded in response. He could do this.

"Can I get you anything, or do you just wanna sit there and stare at the floor?"

It was tempting, but Oliver found his voice, "Do you have any raisins?" He asked.

"No..."

"How about a date?"

Confusion played on the older boy's face, until it was overtaken by a goofy smile. "Are you asking me out?" He inquired, with his grin nearly splitting his face in half.

"Yeah, and second-guessing it. You can say no, if you want. You don't really have to laugh at me."

Biting his lip to try and euphoric formation of his face. "No, no. It's not that. So, am I gonna pick you up, or are we gonna drive to the movies from my house?"

*

A/N: There may be a part three, to make up for the fact that this was extremely anti-climactic, if i am inspired to do so.

thank you to everyone who reviewed, for reviews make my day bright and filled with sunshine and rainbows and kittens. and if you haven't reviewed, i think you should probably do so. just to make me happy.

Oh, and I forgot to disclaim all this. It is not mine.


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